What My Children Have Taught Me...

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

As a mama to 4 (still can't get used to writing that) small children, my aspiration is to teach them everyday. Some days I teach them good things. Other days, to my shame, I'm afraid they're not learning to much good.

But every mama , I would imagine, could say that her children have taught her far more...things about herself, about life, and about God. I was pondering this thought the other morning and tried to think what my children have taught me about God, in particular.

Lillie, for instance, has taught me that God can completely transform a person's life, their attitudes, their point of view when they fully surrender and let him. I was saved by God's grace two days before I found out Lillie was on her way. Before that day, children were the furtherest thing from my mind. Children tied you down, made you give up things, were harder work than they were worth. I'm being honest. But I have maintained that God knew I would not be the best mother I could be aside from His hand on my life, the change salvation brings. So, he worked on me for a long time and when I finally accepted Him I had no idea that change was immediately on the horizon. I was scared sick when I found out I was pregnant. I am so not cut out for this, Lord was my thinking. But God knew otherwise and worked on changing my attitude and my heart and my nasty little ways from square one. Am I the best mother I can be? Nope, not by a longshot. But I am thankful that my attitude was changed and that God's hand has been so apparent in my life as I've tried and am still trying to learn how to be a mom.

Jack is my little miracle boy. Jack taught me that God's hand protects and that he's in control even when we don't see it and when we have no clue that there is anything we need protecting from. Had things not gone the way they did when he was born, he might not have been here today.

Chloe teaches me about God's patience and his mercy. She hit her terrible threes about a year early and with Tyler's arrival, man oh man, has she ever stepped it up. But then I look at the way she acts and I see, very clearly, that I act much the same way and God still loves me enough to have mercy.

And Tyler....well, he's taught me that God answers prayers and that He's able to do all things. I know God answers prayer...sometimes He does it and we miss it, or He does and , because it's not how we would have done it, we dismiss it. But I can't remember a time in my life since I've been saved that He's blatantly answered so many prayers. God has been with me every step of this journey and He will continue to be...of this I am certain.

So, what have your children taught you?

Have a blessed day.

And Tyler Makes 4....

So, it's been two weeks since we brought Tyler home and it's a madhouse around here! Nothing new, though. The first week I was left wondering when we would feel like a "family". I think there's always that brief time when a new baby is born that everyone is out of sorts, trying to figure out where they'll fit in in this new arrangement. Lillie is faced with more responsibility, something she's done okay with and has been very helpful. Jack is no longer the lone boy and Chloe....well, she's no longer the "baby" of the family. I am no longer the mother of three, but the mother of four and questioning on a daily basis to some extent if I'm qualified. Blessed, yes, qualified...not so sure about that one. But we are becoming a family and for that I am thankful. Having 4 is not much different from 3 in alot of ways. In some ways, like when I took all 4 to the store (crazy, I know), it's very different. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Have a Blessed day!

Musings of a Last Time Baby Momma...

After the first two days back home, things have fallen easily into place (which by the way makes me nervous). The new has worn off and the kids have resumed their normal mode of craziness, the house is staying relatively clean and tidy, and last night Ty woke up at 1 and 5 and sleeps most of the day which is cool with me cause I can get things done.

But this morning Jack asked me if I was ever gonna stop holding Tyler. I had to smile as I explained that I don't hold him ALL the time, but that he's a baby and can't do much for himself right now.

Then the thought came to me...this is the last baby I will have (as far as flesh and blood babies go). And though I have no qualms about the decision, this realization has changed the way I think and deal with things.

With the other three, there was never that thought of this is the final chapter of babies...there was always that chance. So I remember bits and pieces of when they were babies, mostly cause I was so busy trying to figure motherhood out and finding my niche and keeping it all together as best I could, that babyhood flew right past me before I could blink an eye. Three seasons passed by and I didn't make the best of that time.

So I resolved this morning that I will enjoy this season. All the dirty diapers, the late nights up, the fussiness in the morning, the sweet little kisses and smiles and squeaks and grunts. It is a season afterall, and a short one at that. And when that last diaper goes into the trash , the last bottle emptied, the baby clothes given away, I will be able to look back and say that I didn't endure this time, but enjoyed it to the fullest.

Have a Blessed Day!

Okay, I'm Back...

Have been incredibly busy the last couple of days and not felt much like being on the computer. Tyler Edward was born on July 1st at Erlanger in Chattanooga and a whopping 7 lbs. 5 oz and 20 inches of scrawny goodness. I'm not kidding, he's SKINNY!!!!! Bad thing is my kids have torn up my digital camera so I only have a few pics Dad took while in the hospital. He was healthy and his platelet count though a little low, grew over the next two days so we, thankfully didn't have to stay long. I am glad to be back home, but yesterday was my "What In the World Am I Going to Do " Day. I blame it on the amount of pain and the fact that I can't move like I want to. Today, the pain is much better , so I'm praying for improvement everyday and the Lord has really been with me. I won't write much today, just enough to update everyone and show him off, hopefully I'll get some good pictures with his eyes open. He looks alot like Chloe did when she was born, but he's built like Lillie was. He's pretty mellow it seems for now, though he eats pretty regularly, but so far he also sleeps mostly in the day and wakes up a little at night, but I'm used to being up at night, so I'd rather have the time to get things done during the day. I'll write more when time allows. Thanks so much to everyone who prayed and helped...my parents and inlaws and sister and Shanna for keeping the kids during my appointments and treatments. To Dr. Gernt and Dr. Sunny and Natalie my nurse for doing their jobs right and giving me a laugh while doing it. Thanks mostly to the Lord for he has been so very good to me and answered more prayers than I remember having outright answered in awhile, he's really made his prescence and love known.

Update

Still doing the weekly treatments and doing well on them. Here's a couple of updated ultrasound pictures taken recently.

May 2010

June 2010

Easter 2010 and Some Other Randomness...

Had a really nice Easter, enjoyed getting the girls all gussied up and my little man was so handsome. Jody was sick on the downside, but feeling much better. Before I get into the pictures, just to update everyone. THe home treatments are going well, lovin' my nurse, she brings me food to fatten me up, though it's not really working as I haven't gained but 5 pounds. Have a new specialist in Cookeville from Erlanger, Dr. Sunny, love her. Hoping to still be able to deliver in Cookeville and be close to home. Pray for that, okay? Ultrasound looks good, so far no signs of any kind of cranial bleed, praise the Lord!

Now, onto pictures...


I am reminded why I like to take pictures of barns and things that sit still....

Jackson dancing with Chloe...He thought his sisters "Were Sooooooooo Beautiful." He's a sweetie.

Walked out onto the porch the other day to see this gruesome sight. Perhaps my kids watch too many National Geographic Animal Video clips online???????Have a blessed day!

Walking Reminder...

"Only fear the Lord, and serve him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things he hath done for you." 1 Samuel 12:24

Started revival last night at church. Crowd was down, but that didn't worry the Lord one bit...he sure did meet with us. Brother Kevin Melton , under the leadership of the Lord , preached just exactly the message I needed to hear: Some things we need to consider.

So many times we dwell on the negative,on the bad, on the uncertainty of a future that God already has hold on...when we'd be a whole lot better off to consider a few things.

How Jesus suffered for us when he didn't have to, how he's been right there and helped us when we thought we could go no further, how he's coming back to give eyes to our faith.

That got me to considering almost 5 years back...

I was going in for my weekly ob appointment. I was at 36 weeks with Jackson and it was to be routine. But sometimes God shakes up routine, doesn't he? He was still transverse and my belly looked a sight...let me assure you. The doctor wanted to turn him so she did an ultrasound only to discover the little guy was swimming around in a dry pool. I had been leaking amniotic fluid and had no idea. So what started out as any other doctor's appointment turned into an emergency c section. Well, the surgery went fine, but upon circumsising him, he began to bleed a whole lot and they couldn't stop it. So, he ended up taking a ride to Knoxville to the NICU at Children's Hospital.

Turned out he had a condition called fetal alloimmune thrombo cytopenia, which is just fancy medical talk for "Start freaking out, his blood won't clot causing all sorts of nastiness and bad stuff."
At the time I was just in a panic survivial mode, didn't really pay attention to all the jargon being slung...just knew I wanted it to be done with and get the little guy home.

Well, now I'm faced head on with the same scenario, only this time I know about it and can not use ignorance to comfort myself. Our new little guy is an unwanted guest in my body, sorry to say. As we speak antibodies are attacking the little guy's platelets bent on destroying every last one of them. But we caught it early and it can be treated. The biggest threat to little guy is an intercranial hemmorage in utero. Most babies that have complications or die from this condition do so hours after delivery because of the stress on the head going through the birth canal. I was going to have a c section anyway, so that's probably a non-issue. But still the thought of what could happen while he's yet inside plagues me with worry every once in a while.

Now we're back full circle to the message last night...to considering the great things God has done for me...and you if you'd think on it a bit.

Jackson was born a month early because of low amniotic fluid and not being turned right...a c section was the only means of getting him out. Had that not been the scenario (which at the time and until recently looking back on it) he'd have been born regular and possibly have died from the thrombo cytopenia. So once again, God worked it all out. I don't understand why he does things the way He does sometimes, but He always seems to work it out.

I also don't claim to know what plan and purpose he has for my children in the future. But I do believe this...without a doubt, God looked down through time and saw that I would be faced with this situation. He'd knew I'd freak and be scared and worry and not consider HIM and what He's able to do...so he gave me a walking , talking, eating, dino-wannabe, reminder everyday that He took care of it once and He can take care of it again. Jackson is my reminder that God doesn't dabble in randomness, though at times His working seems random. It's all connected. It would do us all good to CONSIDER HIM.
Pray for us, as I know, more so today than ever, that it works. HE hears and HE answers and HE can be trusted to take the wheel.

Have a blessed (and consider-it) day!