I Brake for Deer...

Joy and Prairie Chick...this one's for you guys!

It was Thanksgiving day, the year was 2000. I was travelin' down by Watts Bar Lake tryin' to get to my parent's house to commit gluttony (Hey! It's a holiday, so cut me some slack!). I was probably going 55 mph, but I was so consumed with my desire for cornbread dressing that I failed to notice this sign

Now, just to clarify, this sign doesn not mean "beautiful deer frolicking in the green green forest" It means, "Watch out! A ginormous buck is likely to run out in front of you and total your car!" Okay, with that out of the way, I was totally oblivious to the warning signs. I turned my head to admire the beauty of a Tennessee fall, only to look around and "BAM!"

Okay, so it may not have been this massive, but it sure seemed like it at the time. It did have alot of antler, that I remember! Alright, so lets recap. This deer ran out in front of my Nissan Sentra that was traveling at around 55 mph. Needless to say, it did a bit of damage. Now, I have never been much of a conspiracy theorist, but I believe this deer was just waiting for me to come along. Probably had some buddies with him, but they turned chicken and bailed out at the last minute. Now, this part of the story is surreal. The deer ran (or hobbled) off into the woods. As I was phoning the highway patrol, a pickup truck pulls up behind me. Two rather burly men in camo and orange hunting vests jump out. "You alright, lady?" one said to me. "Uh," I respond looking over at my car "I think so." Silence for a bit. "Soooooo, " the other guy says" Deer hit ya?" "Duh" I think, but since I'm nervous and a bit outnumbered I respond "Yeah." To my relief the highway patrolman pulls up and jumps out. "Did you, ummmm happen to see where it went?" one of the hunter's asked, scanning the woods. "No, sir, don't exactly care either." I answer. The patrolman saunters up and starts scribbling his report. "Maam, you know that by law if you find that deer, you can take it home with you." one of the hunters kinda whispers to me while the patrolman is looking over my car. For a moment, I ponder this. Yeah, I am soooo going to go hunt for that wounded deer and then do what? Strap it onto the top of my car with the hood that is completely crumpled up making it nearly impossible to drive and drive on up to ma and pa's house and announce that I've just brought dinner? Yeah, that's not gonna happen! "So, if you're not going to go find it, do ya mind if me and my buddy here do?" one of the hunters asked me. I smile, "Sure." The patrolman nods at them as well, I suppose bidding them godspeed. Looking back, I think those two guys probably never did one day of real hunting in their lives. Probably just parked on the side of that stretch of highway waiting for some poor hungry female to hit a deer and then "happen" to arrive on the scene. Maybe I am a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Anyhow, I went on my way and did finally make it home for dinner. That dressing was well worth it. So, you see, hunting is serious business to some in these parts. You get em' how you can get em' whether by gun or by compact car!