"I've lost my job." Those four words changed...everything, or at least it seemed. I remember it was before Christmas, 17 months ago that I heard those words...yet, by God's grace he had prepared me for them even though I didn't see it at the time. I thought I would panic, but I didn't...I was oddly calm...somehow I knew things would work out. But, how scary the unknown is to us. It's human nature, I suppose to always seek for an explanation to things we don't understand, to read the last page of the book to find out how it turns out. Was I always confident in God's promises to me that HE'D take care of us and that HE had control? I'd be lying to say that...there were times of panic, times of despair, lots of tears, lots of questioning "why".
Now, a new chapter is being written in the life of my little family. A new unknown one, full of it's own set of trials. After 15 months of unemployment, 15 months of wondering when we would see the light at the end of the tunnel, that time has come. And, strangely, though I am excited and so thankful that God has led us to where we now stand, today I am a bit sad. Not sure why, exactly. It's such an odd thing to be sad about...an end to the valley. Maybe I hate to see this chapter end because I have learned so much about God, how he works, how much he loves and how he provides. Maybe I'm sad because I'm afraid I'll forget all the times he came through for us, made something out of nothing, used special people to help us through. Maybe because I'll miss the fervency of my prayers, as tribulation often draws us closer. No reason, of course that I can't still learn from God and feel his love and be drawn close to him now, just that this particular leg of the journey was so...miraculous, I guess.
I look back over my life and I can see very clearly how God has been right there, like the master chess player, arranging the pieces, working even when I had no knowledge of who HE was. And this morning it is with grateful tears rolling down my face that I must praise HIM, for He means everything to me and I count myself the most blessed person in this world.
I wonder if the road less traveled was an easier way,if God would choose to test us in a different way. For the human flesh that we carry can be so sinful that its scary. Why would we trust Him if we had no detours, no valleys, no trials, no sickness and no pain. Would we wish Heaven truly to gain? I would like to believe that I would trust Him anyway. I love you Weesie!!
ReplyDeleteSo true! I'm of the opinion that we are so carnally minded that God has to keep us almost continually in valleys so that we will stay heavenly minded, realizing that all down here is just temporary...a prelude to what is to become our eternity. Well stated, oh wise one! Love You More Than You Know!
ReplyDeleteOh Della, that is so true. It is so easy to forget hard times when we are doing great. He is the great provider & He has provided for you, but He is so much more. He is also the great healer, the great encourager, the great comforter etc.... He will show Himself to you in many other ways so try not to think that this as a stalling point in your close relationship with Him. When we want to draw close to Him He will not disappoint us, & I can tell that staying close to Him is your desire. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI hope what I wrote made sense. :-)
Such a blessing Della I am so glad to hear that Jody has a job, God still answers prayers! Praise the Lord! The refiners fire..hmmm..I just love thinking about it really..the finished peace is well worth the fire..Gods not done here and you know it! You know it says to count our trial as blessings and I know you have and that is probably the bitter sweet feeling you are having. Many many christians go through their christians lives without ever getting to be in the refiners fire, because they have chose not trust him...many many never learn and grow,and that I know is what is such a blessing out of this!
ReplyDeleteJesus NEVER fails!! No Jesus he never fails! I agree with davisp..I too would like to believe that I would trust him anyway! I love you Della..hang in there! Just think of how you can now help others in your situation and what a pray warrior..some never learn the much needed feverent prayer..may we all never forget! On the witness stand of your life you can be the first to testify Jesus NEVER EVER FAILS!!
Might as well get thee behind Satan you can not prevail..because Jesus Never Fails..(you should hear that song!)
love ya sis!
Joy
Love ya sis!
Joy