Looking Back...

Well, another year has slipped by and I feel like I've done less with this one than the previous one. I realize that upon the dawn of a new year, people focus on the future, putting the old year behind them...out of sight and out of mind. And it's probably better to do that in actuality. However that is also easier said than done.

I was reading a blog post and the author was writing about all the false notions and mistakes she had made in the past, when she was much younger and not as seasoned in the trenches. I can totally relate. How much time and money and resources have I wasted in my life. Sometimes I look back on all the mistakes I've made and it literally hurts...am I the only one that feels this way. How life would have been different and better if I had been smarter...

But I am also keenly aware that God is great...and for every mistake I have made, HE has taught me a lesson. For every wrong turn, HIS mercy has been there to guide me back. So the Bible is true when it talks about all things working for good to them that Love GOD. There have been times when I couldn't see the good until much later and there are still things I'm waiting to see the good that will come from the struggle and I am also very much aware that I may never see the good in some trials until I come to HIM face to face. So New Year's are always bitter sweet... an odd mix of regret and hope. If God sees fit, I'll have one more year to Love HIM more, love Jody and the kids more, be above and beyond in ALL my relationships God has so blessed me with.

I've never been much on New Year's Resolutions. I've never found myself able to accomplish any that I set for myself. Not to say I don't want to accomplish some things this next year if God lets me have another year, it's just that listing them doesn't help me DO any of them. But what do I really want to do this next year?

I want to draw closer to GOD...to get back some of the fire I had when I first was saved...to read more (because I want to and not out of duty) to pray and actually feel that I got through when I get up. To be more loving and forgiving of Jody and my children. To teach my children, not just how to read and write or do word problems, but to teach them through my words and my example that Jesus is the answer to every problem, the way out of every temptation, the best friend you'll ever have, the only person you won't be able to get rid of no matter how hard you try, the water when you're thirsty and the hope when there seems to be none lying around. To help them see their purpose and guard over their souls till the time I have to step away and let Jesus take over.

I want to get rid of more me and give it away to others...letting God use me as HE wants.

So here's bidding farewell to 2010 and looking forward to 2011!

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."'

Benjamin Franklin

Have a Blessed New Year!